Dale Hottle: Why I Walk

Why I walk...

My story began 13 years ago as a boy, raised in a conservative home and barely out to himself. A good friend disclosed to me that he had recently tested HIV positive. I was shell-shocked, frozen. I only knew HIV/AIDS as a death sentence--and one that only “wrongdoers” could be afflicted with. My own fear and ignorance were my shield and my sword that night, and they cut me from my friend. I silently turned my back on him and walked away. I will forever regret that moment.

I started volunteering with the Colorado AIDS Project a year later--and when I moved, I continued, volunteering with the Utah AIDS Foundation and then Cascade AIDS Project. My motto became “if I can reach out and make a difference to one person then everything is worth it.” I wanted to raise awareness and hopefully prevent someone from shunning another the way that I had in my ignorance. That friendship--a person to laugh, cry and smile with--can make a big difference to someone living with HIV/AIDS, a lesson that I learned well over time.

I tested positive three years ago and it fractured my life. While I had advocated ending the stigma to others, I still harbored it within myself. This great hypocrisy could have destroyed me--and nearly did. I resorted to drinking and shoved my friends away, isolating myself; I was so fearful that others might shun me that I alienated them from myself first.

Then, two strangers that I had only recently met became my guardian angels. They helped me turn my life back around, so that I could see past the disease to a life beyond. I was fortunate enough to receive the gift of understanding that I had once denied my friend. I can only be hopeful that he and others will be as lucky as I was.

So why do I walk? Well, the short answer is selfish: to find a cure and end the stigma that surrounds the disease.

But the long answer is that I walk for a cure to end this pandemic. I walk to educate others so that they may protect themselves and be accepting when someone else imparts their status. I walk to say thank you to the guardian angels that have provided aid and support for me and so many others through our darkest hours. Finally, I walk for Aric, the friend that started this journey; he changed my life in more ways than he will ever realize.