Spirit Day 2010

(Trigger warning for discussions of suicide, homophobia and assault)

Tyler Clementi
Raymond Chase
Justin Aaberg
Zach Harrington
Seth Walsh
Billy Lucas
Asher Brown

In recent weeks, the media worldwide has shocked with news of seven suicides by young victims of homophobic bullying. In Canada, a lesbian couple committed suicide together. In New York, 11 young gang members allegedly cornered and tortured 3 gay men. Gubernatorial hopeful Carl Paladino read a homophobic speech. Elder Boyd Packer stated that G-d would never create gay people.

How do we support youth when vocal church leaders and politicians undermine our efforts at every step? It is even harder to know that this is not a new trend or "rise" in the number of suicides. This happens all over every day, and we don't hear about most of them, these youth who've been pushed beyond the edge of what they could endure.

POZ magazine recently had a feature on the ex-gay movement and how it unintentionally leads to increased risk of HIV infection. How do we combat that? Groups like that often fight comprehensive sexuality education and promote shame and self-loathing among questioning teens. When you are questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity and your counselor tells you that you can pray it away--or that if you just try hard enough, you can stop being something "unnatural"--how horrible will you feel if you fail?

The sad reality is that government is not always willing to stand with us on this issue. Some places are better than others, but there has been a distinct lack of repercussions in several of the communities where this bullying took place. Schools refusing to change policies to protect their students or standing behind homophobic statements made in student newspapers.

This is not just a "gay" issue--straight, cisgendered youth and adults suffer from the constant pressure of the heteronormative society we live in, the need to conform to societal gender standards or suffer the consequences. In 2001, Willie Houston was murdered while out celebrating his recent engagement. His fiance went to use the restroom and asked him to hold her purse. A man who saw Willie with the purse started harassing them, shouting insults and threatening them; he followed them to their car and shot Willie, who died several hours later.

In the light of all this horrific negativity and tragedy, it can be hard to respond. Education is key, and so is supportive community. That is why Spirit Day is important, but so is carrying this visibility into our daily lives. There are so many things that adults can do support youth. If you feel comfortable, come out. You can also create internships in your businesses, become a Big Brother or Sister, emphasize to your family and friends that you are queer-positive, interrupt hateful language when you hear it and hold intentional safe space wherever you are.

LGBTQQ youth are at higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, survival sex, victimization/harassment, contracting STIS's, dropping out, self-harm and suicide attempts. They new your help. Don't let this sense of community end with today. Stand up and speak out in defense of youth. Let them know you're an ally, that it gets better and that there are people who would miss them.

Resources for LGBTQQ youth who feel lost or need help:
The Trevor Project, a 24/7 national helpline in the United States
SMYRC, The Sexual and Gender Minority Youth Resource Center in Portland, OR
Lambert House in Seattle, WA
LYRIC in San Francisco, CA
Outside In has a Trans Clinic and ID Project, and provides services to homeless youth in Portland, OR

Resources for adults wanting to support LGBTQQ youth:
My Princess Boy, a book written by a loving mother to support her gender non-conforming child
PFLAG, Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays has chapters all over
Factsheets and posters for allies at SMYRC's website

It Gets Better Messages: